The Pastor's Spouse--Roles and Types

 

Being the spouse of a pastor is not easy for many. Spouses have few resources to help them maintain balance and self-worth. Their role in the church often is by default, based on presumed congregational expectations and histories. Many spouses report the strain felt by trying to be a parent and a mate while incorporating a healthy role in the church. It is not uncommon for them to feel unable to recognize and fulfill their own calling.

 

The Pastors Institute has developed a retreat that goes far beyond the common advice to clergy spouses. In fact, we don’t give advice at all; we lead the pastors and their spouses in discovering the stress points and solutions.

 

The Pastors Institute has developed a theory of spouse types that has given pastors and spouses an opportunity to define and redefine their relationship and calls. Most spouses indicate they have one dominate type. The types are:

  • Copastor

  • Bodyguard

  • Companionate

  • Traditional

Our retreat allows clergy couples to discover the spouse’s type and its advantages and disadvantages.

 

This retreat can be adapted to groups of all sizes and is appropriate for both pastor-spouse retreats or for spouse-only gatherings.  

  1. "Thank you for taking the time to find out who we are. By not waltzing in with a cookie-cutter approach, your credibility was huge - with me at least. May God bless you."

  2. "Thanks for zeroing in on the Spouse! Right on! Any doubts? You were right! Appreciate your creativity in this most practical, helpful, and needed approach."

  3. "What an awesome time.  The Pastoral Team Retreat was absolutely terrific. Michael Ross is astounding, totally disarming and wonderfully engaging."

 

© The Pastors Institute, 2007